kanalpakkangal.blogspirit.com [ கனல் பக்கங்கள் ]

Loved this one from a web profile!

 9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist
while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is
pal, where the
hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask
where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off
their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote
because they
refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel
manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake
and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you
can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the
last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell
would you keep
looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who
and where are
they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a
film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come
to the cinema
and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"....
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and
improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has
never been
anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been
something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short".
What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone
ever does!! What
can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks
"Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be
standing here, dumbass?

#include <windows.h>
#include <system_errors.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

main()
{
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);

set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right
or just call it Chicargo)n");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);

Still in Abu Dhabi and will be back to Dubai today evening. Got an interesting joke from my friend from Oman.

"Once there were 3 nuns in a bus and then all of a sudden they crashed and died. So the 3 nuns went up to heaven and met St. Peter at the gates. He said that in order to get into heaven they each had to answer a question. They all agreed and so the first nun went up and St. Peter asked "Who built the ark?". "Noah" the nun replied. "Yup thats right your in" said St. Peter. Then the second nun came up and St. peter asked "Who was the first man in earth?" "Adam" she replied. "Yep thats right your in" said St. Peter.

Then the third nun came up. St. peter said "Well scince your a mother supierior you have to answer a harder question" "Now what was the first thing eve said to Adam?" Mother Supierior answered- "ooh that is a hard one"...  Then on hearing that St. Peter said "yep thats right.. you are in!"

See you all with my travel photos and experiences etc on Sunday. Bye for all!

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 Some of the SMS I got today from my friends!

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.